Ovver t’ tops an’ dahn ageean

Ah’d sided t’breakfast pots an Albert ‘ad done wi t’racin’ results. “Is ther owt i’ t’ paper?” ah asses ‘im.

“Nowt,” ‘e sez. “Ther’s mooer celebrities ner wot ther is fowks ter bother abaht ‘em.” ‘E folded t’paper up an’ then ‘e sez, “It’s as cowd as ivver but ah can’t see ner snow. ‘Ev wi ter risk a ride aht or else wi’st nivver ‘a beean aht o’ Cleck’eaton afoor t’next Kermas comes rahnd, i-waitin fer a wahm day?”

“Reight, lad,” ah sez. “Wi c’d ‘appen catch t’ 268, ‘ev a drink o’ tea i’ t’ bus station caff an’ then cum back ‘ooam baht trailin’ rahnd ahtside.”

Well, wi’d wrapped up wahm an’ enjoyed t’ cup o’ tea an’ t’ change o’ fooer walls an’ then Albert looked up at t’ digital timetable an’ sez, “Nay, it’s nobbut 11.53 Hrs an’ t’ sun’s comin’ aht. ‘Ow abaht gerrin’ on t’ next bus wherivver it’s bahn?”

Ah think it wor t’ 254 an’ off it went up in ter t’ Pennines windin’ through places ah’d nivver ‘eeard on. “Wheerivver are wi, lad?” Ah aksed Albert. “Ther’s three foot o’ snow at t’ sides o’ t’ rooads an’ not a hanimal ter be seen nobbut yon fooer ponies ‘uddled tergether i’ t’ corner on a field.”

“Ah’d nooan be capped if wi wor i’ Lancashire if wi get much farther up i’ theeas ‘ills”, sez Albert. “It’s a reight mystery trip is this.”

Onny road, wi finally gait ter t’ Uddersfield Bus Station an’ ‘ed another cup o’ tea.

“That wor a fair grand trip aht,” sez Albert when we’d getten back ‘ooam an’ ta’en us coits off. “If ther’d ter stop t’ free passes termorrer at least wi’ve ‘ed us moneysworth terday, so ter speak.”

“Aye,” ah sez, “switch t’ news on, lad. Ah wor nobbut thinkin’ if Cleck’eaton’ed ‘av ‘ed snow lahk yon up theer, t’ Spen Beck ‘d ‘a beean up t’ chimler pots.”

“Nah tha knaws ‘ow t’ other awf o’ Kirklees lives,” sez Albert. “Wheer’s mi slippers?”

Mary Mortimer